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美国晚间脱口秀笑话节选(2009.3.17)

March 17, 2009

"A very happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody. Of course, St. Patrick's day is a little different this year. Nobody's got any green left." --Jay Leno
“祝大家了圣帕特里克节快乐。当然,今年的圣帕特里克节稍有不同。没有人手头还剩有绿(票子)了。” -杰·雷诺   [注:双关语 green,圣帕特里克节是'绿色'的节日,这里指 green back 美元纸币,]

"Hey, a little quiz for you. What is the difference between an  AIG executive and a drunken Irishman? A drunken Irishman spends his own money." --Jay Leno
“嘿,考你一下。AIG高管和爱尔兰醉鬼的区别是什么?爱尔兰醉鬼花的可是自己的钱。” -杰·雷诺

"In fact, President Obama's so upset that he changed his slogan from, 'Yes we can' to 'oh no you don't!'" --Jay Leno
“事实上,奥巴马总统非常不满,以致他改变了他的口号,从原来的<是的,我们可以>改为<噢,你们不可以!>” -杰·雷诺

"The Republicans are on board in this, too. Iowa Senator Charles Grassley told AIG executives -- this is what he actually said -- he said they should either quit or commit suicide. But I think that's plain wrong. I mean, why give them the option of quitting?" --Jay Leno
“共和党人对此事也极为愤慨。爱荷华州参议员查尔斯·格拉斯利对AIG高管们说——他事实上是这么说的——他说,他们要么辞职或者自杀。但我认为这是不对的。我的意思是,为什么给他们辞职的选择哪?“ -杰·雷诺

"New research out of the University of Virginia says that our mental abilities begin to decline around the age of 27. In fact, by the age of 50, many of us are thinking at a  President Bush level." --Jay Leno
“弗吉尼亚大学的一项新的研究报告说,我们的智力约27岁时开始下降。事实上, 到50岁的时候,我们当中许多人的智力将和前总统布什持平。” -杰·雷诺

"I want to tell you, a beautiful day in New York City. Am I right about that? It was so nice today that AIG gave a bonus to Al Roker." --David Letterman
“让我来告诉你们,纽约今天天气很好。对吧?今天天气实在太好了,为此AIG派发给NBC天气预告员Al Roker一笔奖金。 ” -大卫·莱特曼

"By the way, while you were laughing, AIG just handed out another $100 million in bonuses." --David Letterman
“顺便提一下,就在你们开怀大笑的时候, AIG刚刚又派发出1亿美元的奖金。” -大卫·莱特曼

"In honor of St. Patrick's Day, the water in the fountains at the White House today was dyed green, which might be the only green a lot of Americans see this year so enjoy it." --Jimmy Kimmel
“今天为了庆祝圣帕特里克节,白宫前喷泉的水被染成绿色,这可能是许多美国人今年能看到的唯一的绿色,所以享受这片刻的绿色吧。” -吉米·金梅尔 [同第一个的双关语]

"They had a big St. Patty's Day party at the White House tonight with corned beef and cabbage, green beer — the whole thing. It's an important part of Obama's everybody get drunk and forget about the economy policy." --Jimmy Kimmel
“白宫今晚举行一场盛大的圣帕特里克节派对,有牛肉罐头和卷心菜,绿色啤酒——等这些派对食品。这是奥巴马的<人人喝醉忘记经济>政策的一个重要组成部分。” -吉米·金梅尔


这里有 Jay Leno 的 The Tonight Show 09.3.17 单口独白 的部分视频:


 原文:http://www.yeeyan.com/articles/view/62287/33970

posted on 2009-03-20 10:11 Moise 阅读(141) 评论(0)  编辑 收藏 引用 网摘


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